Shows You Should NOT Attend This Fall

As you probably noticed, there are a ton of awesome shows coming up this month and later in the fall. Here's what you should avoid:

Sept. 9 - Boredoms @ Terminal 5
The Boredoms are probably the greatest noise rock band ever. Terminal 5 will make them inaudible. Skip it!

Sept. 17 - Horrors @ Bowery Ballroom
Unless you go to hear Crocodiles, who are good but not great, skip this show. I heard the Horrors open for someone or other recently, and they were miserable. Just boring, wanna-be-goth-but-have-no-idea-what-that-means generic rock band. Skip it!

Sept. 18 - Trail of Dead, Secret Machines @ Webster Hall
Don't skip these bands, skip this show and catch them the next day at Music Hall of Williamsburg, which is smaller and has immeasurably better acoustics. Unless you really want to see Youth Brigade on Sept. 19, in which case, this is the best you can do.

Sept. 24 - Japandroids @ Mercury Lounge
I loved Japandroids until I saw them live. If you like this band, buy their record and avoid their show at all costs!

Sept. 25 - Yo La Tengo @ Roseland Ballroom
Roseland Ballroom is a creepy, corporate place that's still somehow dirty and has absolutely miserable acoustics. The show is almsot $30, and as great as Yo La Tengo is, you can see them under better circumstances for less money if you're patient. It's not like they're likely to break up - they've been a band for close to thirty years now. Skip it!

Oct. 4-7 - Sufjan Stevens @ Bowery Ballroom, Music Hall of Williamsburg
Sufjan is good, but these "small venue" shows (at 500-cap. venues, small is always a relative term) are way overhyped. Anyway, you can't get tickets even if you want to (they've basically made scalping impossible), but at least feel better about not getting tix, because it's just not worth all this buzz.

Nov. 11 - Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr. @ Terminal 5
If you go to this, you will just cry and/or put your fist through a wall out of frustration, because you will not be able to hear anything of two of the greatest indie bands in American history. Terminal 5 may have the worst acoustics of any venue building in human history. It's defeaningly loud yet paradoxically inaudible. You'd have better luck hearing the bands inside a giant jet engine. Skip it!

News: Bowery Presents Loses What Little Dignity It Had Left

So Bowery Presents has partnered with Jet Blue and Superfly Marketing in sponsoring a contest where your band could win a chance to play at the airport. Cause, you know, that's where every band wants to play.

You can find the details here. And the kicker? "The top artist as determined by JetBlue and Superfly will also perform as the opening act for a headlining artist at Bowery Presents' Terminal 5, the popular concert venue in Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen neighborhood, or another Bowery Presents show" (italics mine). So that means, if you win this contest, you could, you know, get to play at 7 PM at Mercury Lounge on a Tuesday. And the airport. Hot DOG!

Thanks for the tip, Jasper.

Venue Review: Terminal 5

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Overview
Location: Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan
Address: 610 W 56th St (between 11th & 12th Ave)
Size: Large (Cap. 3,000)
Directions: 1, A, B, C or D to Columbus Circle, walk three short blocks south and three and a half long blocks west.
Website: terminal5nyc.com

Acoustics: F
Booking: A
Helpfulness to bands: N/A
Atmosphere: B

Acoustics - Terminal 5 is a narrow, deep rectangular room with three stories of balconies. A lot of the interior design is done with metal, which means the music is inevitably drowned out by its own echoes. In fact, this is probably the muddiest sounding venue I have ever set foot in - you don't go there to hear your favorite band, you go there to see them while you unrelatedly have your eardrums pierced but the unintelligible din.

Booking - I've never, ever booked a show at Terminal 5. It's a big venue for big-name bands and each show there has a high cost that must be met by high ticket sales. Of the Bowery Presents venues, Terminal 5 houses the highest-profile shows. But the booking is the same for all Bowery Presents venues, so allow me to repeat what I wrote for Mercury Lounge: All the Bowery venues are very concerned with profit and draw and it's hard to get a spot at any of them. However, I've still given them an "A" for booking because despite having their pick of bands, they are very responsive, even to bands they are turning down. They are easy to get in touch with, communicative and open-minded, and in my experience, foster good relationships with everyone. If you're reading this blog for booking advice, you're probably not at the level Terminal 5 expects, but at least if you give it a shot, they'll be nice!

Helpfulness - I really have no experience with this, though my guess is that they treat bands very well.

Atmosphere - The interior seems like it was designed to create the poorest acoustics possible, but in fact, it was designed to look cool, and it does look cool. I'm more of a fan of the grungy, down-to-earth places, but for a modern rock venue, this place is certainly attractive. Visibility isn't great if there is any crowd at all, but other than that, it is not a bad place. And it's a little less creepy (less corporate, less disconnected) than most venues of its size and prestige. It's not worth going to shows here due to the sound, but if you have to, at least your eyes will be happy.

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