Shows You Should NOT Attend This Fall

As you probably noticed, there are a ton of awesome shows coming up this month and later in the fall. Here's what you should avoid:

Sept. 9 - Boredoms @ Terminal 5
The Boredoms are probably the greatest noise rock band ever. Terminal 5 will make them inaudible. Skip it!

Sept. 17 - Horrors @ Bowery Ballroom
Unless you go to hear Crocodiles, who are good but not great, skip this show. I heard the Horrors open for someone or other recently, and they were miserable. Just boring, wanna-be-goth-but-have-no-idea-what-that-means generic rock band. Skip it!

Sept. 18 - Trail of Dead, Secret Machines @ Webster Hall
Don't skip these bands, skip this show and catch them the next day at Music Hall of Williamsburg, which is smaller and has immeasurably better acoustics. Unless you really want to see Youth Brigade on Sept. 19, in which case, this is the best you can do.

Sept. 24 - Japandroids @ Mercury Lounge
I loved Japandroids until I saw them live. If you like this band, buy their record and avoid their show at all costs!

Sept. 25 - Yo La Tengo @ Roseland Ballroom
Roseland Ballroom is a creepy, corporate place that's still somehow dirty and has absolutely miserable acoustics. The show is almsot $30, and as great as Yo La Tengo is, you can see them under better circumstances for less money if you're patient. It's not like they're likely to break up - they've been a band for close to thirty years now. Skip it!

Oct. 4-7 - Sufjan Stevens @ Bowery Ballroom, Music Hall of Williamsburg
Sufjan is good, but these "small venue" shows (at 500-cap. venues, small is always a relative term) are way overhyped. Anyway, you can't get tickets even if you want to (they've basically made scalping impossible), but at least feel better about not getting tix, because it's just not worth all this buzz.

Nov. 11 - Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr. @ Terminal 5
If you go to this, you will just cry and/or put your fist through a wall out of frustration, because you will not be able to hear anything of two of the greatest indie bands in American history. Terminal 5 may have the worst acoustics of any venue building in human history. It's defeaningly loud yet paradoxically inaudible. You'd have better luck hearing the bands inside a giant jet engine. Skip it!